In these moments
by FearlessRaider
Summary: Moments in life. In their life, someone else's. It's her birthday. Nothing too serious, just nice off-duty night. There are indeed many gifts in this world.


_One hour til it starts and I stand here. One hour. It's been three years since I last saw them. I was closer then, much much closer. First row. This feels like so far away even though it isn't. We'll probably get much more closer too when the it starts. I just hope the time could go a little faster._

Cabin doors hisses open.

Shepard lifts her head to see Garrus walking in, datapad in hand.

He smiles when he sees her, still working while being off-duty. Always more mission reports to look at, more intel pulling her towards that terminal. Always working, even though it's her birthday and she is off-duty.

He continues down the steps and sits on the couch, focusing on his own datapad. As there is always more guns to calibrate or updates from Palaven. Though the latter doesn't mean anything good these days.

_It was colder back then. I don't remember anymore how much colder, but it was cold. Time was going slowly as I waited for hours in the line to get best seats in the house. It worked in the end. First row, there was my spot. Surprisingly warm February, or warm day. Five hours were washed away on that heartbeat when they opened the gates, friend of mine had taken my jacket and bag. I only had that ticket and clothes on my back. Nothing more was needed. Years of waiting was about to end._

"Okay, I got ask you, Shepard", Garrus voice rises from the couch disturbing her reading, "you are not really reading mission reports, are you?"

She sighs lightly for the disruption but gives a smile for the right conclusion.

"What makes you say so?"

"You usually sigh and act restless when reading them. Now you're completely still. Ignoring the outside world, focusing on what ever you're actually reading."

He's right, of course. She's been reading without problems, with an increasing interest to this old text. Memories of someone who didn't even knew there was more life in the galaxy. But those memories are intriguing for her, since they tell moments she can't feel otherwise. Can't experience because of the lack of context and how much time has changed over the years.

"So what are you reading that makes you.. what's the humane saying 'glued to that terminal'?" Garrus voice goes on while he's still reading his own datapad.

"It's nothing. Just intel."

"Right, because intel about the war is that interesting, Shepard. I'm not buying it." This time he places the pad on the table next to the couch when he stands up to move closer to her and her terminal. She is still leaned closer to the terminal, maybe even trying to block his view for the screen.

"Really, Garrus, it's really nothing. But you're right. It's not work or even intel related to work." She whispers while her eyes never leaves the screen and text on it.

_My friend is excited. People around me are so excited. I don't know if I'm excited. Well, I do. I am. I can't wait to see them again, but the fact of knowing I'll see them again in less than a hour isn't making my hands shake. I'm not really feeling like crying, but I'm happy. Content. Standing here. On this beach, this festival. With these people. With my friend. I'm happy, content. My feelings aren't going overboard. They're in check, controlled. But do I need to be this controlled, is there something wrong with me? Friend of mine cried yesterday before she saw her favourite band live the second time. Why I'm not crying? Should I?_

"So what is it then?" He keeps pushing the subject while leaning against the wall where all her model ships are.

"It's.. a gift. From EDI actually," she says while leaning away from terminal. "At least it's meant to be a gift."

"And this gift is?"

"Damn, Garrus. You always so pushy?" She tries to make joke about it, but failing as her voice isn't as light she wanted it to be and he can obviously tell she's getting restless about the issue.

"Only when it matters," he answers with a slight chuckle. "As your boyfriend I do know it's your birthday after all."

"Oh. So you are.. what. Estimating all the said gifts I'm getting to make sure yours is the one what will win?" Shepards voice has finally grasped a light, maybe a little teasing note on it. "You do know you don't need to give me anything, right?" She's now leaning back to her chair and crossing her arms over her chest.

"I do. As long today ends with you and me completely alone, naked, and rolling around the couch, I know you'll be happy."

"Har, har, Garrus. Har, har." She says while shifting her focus back to the terminal.

"You didn't answer the question, Shepard", Garrus reminds her before she can sink into the memories of someone else once more. With a deep sigh she manages to tear herself away from the terminal once more. Hopefully the last time for this evening.

"It's an old.. an old text."

It's all what her mind comes up. Everything else is way too hard to explain. At least it feels like hard to explain to someone. Even for Garrus, who is in the end just Garrus. Her Garrus.

"Okay, we can work with that. An old text about what?"

"Om. Well, it's like an entry on someone's diary. But it was written on internet, long before humanity even found other life in the galaxy. The subject is.. this band you caught me listening to once."

"Ah. The one whose music still live on?"

"Right. This isn't really about the band itself. More like reflection of that someone's feelings, who were there when members were alive. When they were performing.. when.. everything was.." Her voice trails off and he caught her looking at the terminal again.

"So.. that someone saw them perform?"

"Yeah, few times. Apparently best times of her life." She continues slowly while checking the page on her terminal.

"I think I get it. You're reading her experiences so you could relate to them even though you'll never have them as your own. But it still gives you some kind of connection, am I right?" He says softly while slowly walking towards her.

"Yeah, something like that." Soft smile appears on her face when she sees him stretching his talons towards her. Inviting her to an embrace, which she gladly accepts. They stand there, holding each other close. Breathing slowly and steady while slightly clinging to each other. To this moment. Trying to savour it, plant it deep into their memories.

_It's over. Once more it's over. Only after I've seen them I can really feel it. The excited and anxious waiting. The sheer of my feelings, they all mixed together. They consume me and they're powerful. Only thing I can do is to listen to them again. Going trough their albums and breath the music once more. As they're me as much I'm them. It fills me full and I don't feel alone so much anymore. In the aftermath there is always one thing I know for sure._

_I need to see them again._


End file.
